Not many babies are travelling, Part 1, Chapter 21

"Not many babies are travelling these days."

Part 1, Chapter 21, page 96

Emergency

Curiously, the soldiers are inspecting the baby on the tarmac of the Kindu airport. That is history. But in my symbolic world, these soldiers or warriors are saluting the inner child, our creative energy, our inner fountain of love. I am giving to each warrior a name like sorrow, pain, jealousy, envy, vanity, guilt, hate, regrets, righteousness. They are surrounding the baby. They want to be touched by its love in order to be healed, since they are hurting. The warriors are the negative aspects that arise in us and are parts of our psyche that want to be  made whole.

Amedea, Part 1 Chapter 20

"A desired pregnancy"

Amedea page 92

This is Maya’s second birth. Her pregnancy is desired and she feels happy. Her baby is floating in her womb and her hand seems to reassure the baby that she is there and loves it. Will it be a boy or a girl? Her belly is as round as the earth. One side lies in darkness, the other is bathed in light. Her breasts are full: Is Mother Earth desiring to be fed as well. A Congolese family is looking on. Maya got married to have her own family. She needs this stability in her adventurous and agitated life.

Nicholas, Part 1 Chapter 19

"Giving Birth in the Congo"

Part 1 Chapter 19 

Nicholas, Page 90

Maya is giving birth to her first child. Between her legs, out of the dark womb, the head emerges. Our human body is also called the temple of our soul. At the entry of the temple of Luxor in Egypt, the visitor is flanked by two enormous feet. I crowned the mother: she is the birth channel for humanity to enter our physical world. She is surrounded by 5 straw huts. In checking out the symbolic meaning of the number 5, I discovered that this is the number of marriage and stability. Maya married to have some stability in her life. It also means expansion, i.e. breaking through the wall of the square which is number 4 and expand into the surrounding world. 

Part 1 Chapter 17

Thoughts had to be harnessed like horses.

Part 1 Chapter 17

Fantasies  (page 81)

The inner chatter in our brains is overwhelming and creates part of our suffering. Where does this all come from? The experts say this chatter comes from outside of us. These are the constant repetitions, justifications, explanations of what we have learned, analyzed, experienced, seen, felt and stored in our brain.

There are ways of breaking this flow. We have to expose ourselves to positive  vibrations. When I was younger I recited poetry  and that cooled down my inner tortured world.  But I was never free of the darkness. Today  I use the conscious breath that interrupts the flow of thoughts.

So Maya harnesses her thoughts like horses. With her brain power she now controls her world. In the picture the tree is bending and the flowers are drooping to the ground under her will power.  

www.amazon.ca or www.amazon.com;  www.goodreads.com/barbarasala

 

 

 

You are cordially invited to this exhibition in the Quebec Eastern Townships in Coaticook at the Musee Beaulne. The exhibition runs from May 8th to July 3rd, 2016. The vernissage takes place on May 15, from 2:00 to 4:00 pm. I will be there.

 

 Naïve Art Door to your Heart

 

You can find on page 177 of my book Insectual the same image in black and white. The painting in acrylics and oil on canvas was inspired by this small sketch. The painting's size is 22 x 28 inches or 56 x 71 cm.

 

Man in velvet flower Coat.

 

Happy Mother's Day

Mother of Twins, (c) B. Sala  18 x 24", collage,

 acrylic on masonite

 

 

Part I Chapter 16

I buried the "Devil"

Burying the "Devil"

 

Part 1 Chapter 16

 

She is determined. She is strong. The “Devil” feeling is preventing her from being happy. While sitting in the shade on a rock and watching people push the car out of the sand, she buries the “Devil” into the sand.

As you can see, he is now trapped between the rock and the earth. Her physical brain has become her rock, a strong rock. The repressed “Devil” has no more power over her - so she is convinced - but that doesn’t mean that he is not alive. As his origins are not understood, he is just sinking into her unconscious and now hiding in every cell of her being.  She might have even projected him onto Lorenzo. But for now there is no more suffering. She is proud of her conquest.

 

Mandala of the "Devil"

 

Review by Rosie Malezer for Readers' Favorite: 5 Stars *****

The title and cover art of INSECTUAL (The Secret of the Black Butterfly) by Barbara Sala intrigued me. It details the life of Maya – a German woman who describes intimacy and sex as ‘the devil’ – yet has no problems falling in love. After an unwanted pregnancy and abortion, Maya meets and marries Lorenzo, an Italian man who finds Maya enchanting. Due to complications with the birth of her second child with Lorenzo, Maya and the baby are rushed to the hospital. After the birth, she is secreted away just moments before her city comes under fire. When Maya and Lorenzo are finally reunited, Lorenzo confesses his infidelities in a drunken stupor.

Therapy is recommended to Maya in the hopes that it will fix her loathing of sexual acts. Shortly after her therapy sessions commence, Maya realizes that she does not want to stay married to an unfaithful husband. After divorcing Lorenzo, Maya spends many years in therapy, discovering her real inner demons lie with her father who had molested and raped her as a child – traumatic memories which Maya had buried over the years. Most of Barbara Sala’s book INSECTUAL (The Secret of the Black Butterfly) consists of Maya’s therapy sessions, her thoughts, her fears, her dreams and what she chooses to tell her therapist.

It is very well written throughout and the illustrations at the beginning of each segment of the book are quite clever, painting a very clear picture of what Maya is thinking. While the book was very difficult to read in some places due to the content, I am grateful to have read it, as it teaches one of the most incredible lessons a person can learn in life: forgiveness.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Part 1 Chapter 15. Honeymoon in Germany and Italy

"The Church Bell"

Honeymoon in Germany and Italy

 

Part 1 Chapter 15

I have changed the colour of the background to my messages. I am reconstructing my blog. Doing this is like living in a house and renovating it at the same time. I invite your feedback.

This image really makes me smile. I did these drawings in 1994. How could I have created such a drawing with 20 spiders as the decoration for the bedspread? 

The 20 spiders have woven this blanket and both husband and wife are trapped under it. The cat is boxed in. The bell of the tower in this Italian village is close by and its sound is shrill and noisy. It seems the blanket wants to fly away, i.e. the 20 spiders. Clothes are piled on the chair. There are sexual symbols. Maya is not hiding her thoughts about sex. She is not prude, but the “insectual” feeling is just too strong and interferes with whatever she does. Maya has remained a child, see the bear’s head on the pot. Goldilocks and the three bears might be enchanting her, a turn away from reality, a flight into fantasy.

 

 

Chapter 1, 14. A dangerous Night.

"Exhorting money, chickens and beer." 

A Dangerous Night

Part 1 Chapter 14   

The bird is a symbol of peace. Here the little chicken stands in the center of the happenings diffusing the tension.

The soldier with his gun threatens the people, especially as he might be drunk, holding a bottle in his hands. His salary is small and to allow people to continue their journey, he expects a bribe: chicken or eggs or beer.

The chicken is the symbol of life, motherhood, abundance, self sacrifice. It nurtures and protects, chatters and gossips, scratches the earth to discover the truth.

Eggs are symbol of new life, eternal life, wholeness.

While in the Congo I lived through many situations of crisis. I always told myself not to show fear. And nothing bad really happened. Peace be with you too! Happy Valentine!

Review by Fulluri    -  4 stars

This is quite an exciting book written in a unique manner. In fact, a lot of the bitter truths about life can be found here. Consider, for instance, the very opening paragraph of the book: which couple, married or in an otherwise long term relationship, won't be able to relate to the mundaneness and monotony of sex life after the initial fervor is gone?

"Making love. Oh making love! I really hate it. Day in, day out, always the same ritual. I don’t desire it as often as he does. Therefore, we get the passive sessions, when he "rapes" me, and the active sessions, when I play along"

OR

"To me, making love is boring and a waste of time. One housewife once confided to me that eating a steak was much more pleasurable than making love."

Is it any wonder that there is something called 'marital rape' in law books? Is it any wonder that sometimes men and women in long term relationships cheat on each other? The whole book is a very accurate mirror into the mind of a woman who has lost the urge for sex.

Surprisingly enough, a lot changes in the protagonist's life except for one thing: her sexual ardor: she is still frigid, even with a new lover:

"Sexually, I am still a cripple."

Well at least she realizes the reality of sex therapy, thank goodness!

The atmosphere is sometimes chilling and often takes you by surprise; many a times the character's actions themselves are shocking. In one of the chapters ("Abortion") for instance, you are transported from the relatively calm and serene images of refectory and flowers to a comparatively bleaker imagery of cemetery.

The dialogs could have been better, however. A lot of times they are unoriginal, hackneyed or cheesy:

"Hi," it says cheerfully. "I am here, look at me."

"Come, Chérie, sit on me. Give yourself to me," says the little thing. It is trembling."

""Yes, I will perform a proper abortion. But abortion is illegal in this country. That’s why we have to be so prudent."

Considering the effort the author spent on creating extremely relatable, multi-dimensional characters and a page turning plot, if only she had invested just as much effort on the dialogs too, I would have given it five stars.

As it is stands though, it is worth the money due to the unique nature of the plot and very realistically drawn characters. I believe both genders would be able to relate to this book: women, who confuse sex with rape when the relationship gets old and tired, and men, who are frustrated by their wives' increasingly reduced appetite for sex. It even has something to appease the feminist crowd ……..

Part 1,Chapter 13 Adapting to married Life.

January 18. 2016

"A Man drowned in the Congo River."

Adapting to married life

Part 1 Chapter 13

In adapting to her married life, does Maya feel like being swallowed by a crocodile? Will Maya’s husband’s sexual desires destroy her or this marriage? I, like contrasts and that’s why I chose to draw the crocodile in a peaceful setting. I hope she will not fall asleep while sitting so close to the water. I hope she goes on writing her thoughts on paper.

Crocodiles are survivors. They live on land and in the sea, in the conscious and unconscious worlds.  My unconscious seems to be lined with insects of all kinds. These are the archetypes of our fears and it is only through creativity, love, hope, gratitude, friendship and daily occupations that we can avoid these feelings of darkness. I am lucky. I can express all this in images. I can paint. I ventured very deeply into my mind – that is what the book is about. 

In paintings, crocodiles are represented as the monsters of the underworld. During the Middle Ages stuffed crocodiles were chained on the walls of the churches. They represented the devil.

In native American symbology, the crocodile has status and power. It is a creature responsible of creation since it lives on land and in the water. In  the Mayan legends, people born under the sign of the crocodile have access to great power. They are open to new beginnings. Marriage is a new beginning for the heroine of my novel.  How is she going to adjust?

 

Christmas Greetings

 

 

Happy Holidays to all my friends, followers and readers

 

 

 'The painter's colourful world', 18 x 24", acrylic on canvas 
(c) Barbara Sala 2015

 

 

 

Chapter 1, 12

"The Map of the DRC"

 

“Matadi”

Part 1 Chapter 12

This is an excerpt from the book INSECTUAL, page 51 :

The map of Congo-Kinshasa called the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC), one and a half times the size of Europe and 77 times the size of Belgium, reminds me of a rectangular head with a long snout dipping into the Atlantic Ocean. The back of the “neck” is the copper-rich Southeastern province of Shaba and running down half the back of the head is a luminous blue braid. This is the region of the great lakes starting with Lake Victoria to the north in Uganda and running down through Lake Albert, Lake Edward and Lake Kivu to Lake Tanganyika in the south. The top of the head is bordered by Uganda, Sudan and the Central African Republic. The big green area covering at least one half of the whole country resembles a brain. This is the tropical forest, one of the world’s great sources of oxygen. The DRC is the heart and lungs of Africa.

      The high forehead is bordered by Cameroon and the Republic of the Congo (Congo-Brazzaville). The snout, running toward the Atlantic Ocean, squeezes itself between a rocky cliff into the delta that forms the DRC’S narrow 25-kilometre-long coastline. Three cities, like three jewels, are crammed into this delta. One of these jewels is Matadi.

      We were on our way back from our weekend-long local honeymoon at the small beach resort of Moanda on the shores of the Atlantic. At Matadi, our car climbed the asphalted highway that cuts through the rocky escarpment. This road is one of the most travelled in the whole DRC, bringing goods to Kinshasa, since the Congo River between Matadi and Kinshasa cannot be navigated because of its many cataracts. Reaching the top of this escarpment, we stopped to take in the tremendous view over the harbour and the narrow delta. Ocean steamers and cargo boats of all sizes were coming and going. To our left lay Angola with its rich oil fields and facing us was Congo-Brazzaville.

 

FREE: You can read the first 24 pages of INSECTUAL for free. www.booklocker.com/7890

 

Part 1,11 Run Spider Run!

"Run Spider Run."

The Wedding

Part 1 Chapter 11
 

On Maya’s wedding day spider woman appears at the rim of the broken web: “You destroyed my web! Why did you tell me to run? You want to run away from  the web that your thoughts have woven. You tricked yourself into this marriage and for that you want to kill me! You created your web with the yarn of your unhappiness and loneliness. You made yourself believe that you love this man. So leave me alone. Don’t kill spiders. We are useful and I have many children to feed.”

 

Spider woman crawls up the branch of the hibiscus tree and continues: “During night I wove a material of exquisite stardust into a veil for you. It is my present for you. Even if it is broken now hang the veil above your bed and it will catch your dreams. This veil should always remind you that you need patience, intelligence and great skills to make your marriage work.  In your new life tradition has no big place. Not everything is useful that your grandmother taught you.  You have to find new solutions.”

With this spider woman turns around, picks up the silver thread and hides underneath the leaves.

INSECTUAL is available at www.booklocker.com, www.amazon.com (in paperback and electronic version) and other sites that sell books.

Ann Diamond's review

Review by Ann Diamond, 19 October 2015 on Goodreads, 4 stars out of five.

INSECTUAL The Secret of the Black Butterfly.

I've read INSECTUAL at various stages as I was involved in editing it beginning about ten years ago. I'm very glad to see it finally appear in print. It has all the qualities other reviewers have mentioned: strong, vivid writing; a fast-moving story that begins in Nazi Germany during the war years, moves to the Belgian Congo in the early sixties and another particularly bloody war, then comes to rest in Montreal where the narrator enters therapy with a brilliant psychotherapist who helps her retrieve childhood incest memories and unfreeze her considerable artistic talent. (Writing is just one of Barbara Sala's gift - she's also a well-respected "naive" painter.)

I haven't read the current version of INSECTUAL -- a brilliant title that I believe her granddaughter contributed to the project. I'm a fan of Barbara's writing (and painting) but we came to loggerheads when she revised the book, back in about 2010. I was in love with the earlier version - a masterpiece of dramatic irony with a darker subtext than the current one - in fact I thought it really had "bestseller" potential as a portrait of a woman caught in the throes of romantic obsession to the point of extreme-self-deception. If this version is disturbing, the earlier one was at times terrifying in its exploration of a shattered female psyche, almost (but not quite) rescued and redeemed by art.......

Part 1,10

“It feels like the “Devil””

 

The Gynecologist

Part 1 Chapter 10
 

He is the daemon who sits very tall on her shoulder. He knows nobody can see him, because he rules in another dimension. To the human eye he is invisible, but to the human heart he is very painful. I, as a painter, however, can make him visible. He represents a vibration of great unhappiness and confusion and my main character was much too young to understand this feeling when it arose for the first time.  So she called it “the devil”. To my reader I want to say that there is no devil in this story. It is a feeling.

 

The daemon has a strong grip on her and his hands form a knot over her chest.  The folded hands resemble a flower. No light can penetrate to reach Maya’s hungry soul. “Insectual” is Maya’s journey to discover the meaning of “the devil” feeling. This will be revealed to you at the end.

 

The daemon doesn’t want the flower to unfold. He would have less control over the situation. Can the gyno help? The gyno in his white cloak cannot hear the daemon through his stethoscope and therefore the daemon does not exist. So the doctor tells Maya she is crazy. Can her future husband help her? Lorenzo with his pipe belching smoke into the environment cannot either.

 

At that time in the 1960s I was reading Rachel Carson’s Book “Silent Spring.”  She foresaw a Spring  without the songs of birds.

 

It is difficult for me, the painter, to analyze my own images. They are mostly the work of my unconscious. Not questioning them, I give them life on paper. And now I give them meaning through words.  Thanks for reading them.  And maybe your eyes see something completely different again. This is ok as well. Let me know.

 

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