“It feels like the “Devil””
The Gynecologist
Part 1 Chapter 10
He
is the daemon who sits very tall on her shoulder. He knows nobody can see him,
because he rules in another dimension. To the human eye he is invisible, but to
the human heart he is very painful. I, as a painter, however, can make him
visible. He represents a vibration of great unhappiness and confusion
and my main character was much too young to understand this feeling when it
arose for the first time. So she called
it “the devil”. To my reader I want to say that there is no devil in this
story. It is a feeling.
The
daemon has a strong grip on her and his hands form a knot over her chest. The folded hands resemble a flower. No light
can penetrate to reach Maya’s hungry soul. “Insectual” is Maya’s journey to discover
the meaning of “the devil” feeling. This will be revealed to you at the end.
The
daemon doesn’t want the flower to unfold. He would have less control over the
situation. Can the gyno help? The gyno in his white cloak cannot hear the
daemon through his stethoscope and therefore the daemon does not exist. So the
doctor tells Maya she is crazy. Can her future husband help her? Lorenzo with
his pipe belching smoke into the environment cannot either.
At
that time in the 1960s I was reading Rachel Carson’s Book “Silent Spring.” She foresaw a Spring without the songs of
birds.
It
is difficult for me, the painter, to analyze my own images. They are mostly the
work of my unconscious. Not questioning them, I give them life on paper. And
now I give them meaning through words. Thanks for reading them. And maybe your eyes see something completely different again. This is ok as well. Let me know.
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